You might be a right wing republican if…
Question:
2 WAY TIE FOR FIRST PLACE —- First prize winners: …you’d rather screw the country than an intern. – submitted by anonymous —- …you have a borderline psychotic obsession with the fact that Bill Clinton was elected President. Twice. Fair and Square. Don’t you tell me to "just get over it." submitted by N.O. —- 3 WAY TIE FOR SECOND PLACE Second Place Winners: …while watching reruns of All In The Family, you wonder why the audience laughs when Archie Bunker says something that "makes sense". —- …you secretly suspect that J.C. Watts is the guy who stole your hubcaps at last year’s RNC fundraiser. —- …the person sitting next to you on the plane asks to be reseated in the overhead baggage compartment. submitted by Bill Hamm —- 3 WAY TIE FOR THIRD PLACE …you think that manual labor is the President of Mexico. submitted by – anonymous —- …you think that oral sex rises to the level of an "impeachable offense," but stealing an election doesn’t. submitted by Otis Galloway —- …you believe brown skin or immigration status are probable cause. submitted by anonymous —- Honorable Mention Winners: … if you make your children listen to talk radio during target practice. —- …if you think it would have been unconstitutional to count the votes in Florida in 2000. submitted by anonymous —- …you think all those starving kids in Somalia should quit begging and get a job. —- …you can link Clinton to every conceivable situation that developed worldwide from 1992-2000. —- …you honestly think that Bush is great even if his policies cost you your job, your home, your savings and the life of your child in war, but at least he didn’t get a b—j–. —- .You think its fair for the poor to give up their oil subsidies so the rich can get a tax break. —- …after voting against all civil rights legislation, you wonder why minorities don’t vote republican. —- …you think that the right way to fix our schools is to post the Ten Commandments —- …you’re on medicare, need prescription drug help & still voted for the village idiot (dumbya) – cephil —- …if you make less than $40,000/year and think the only thing standing between you and wealth, is less government regulation, lower taxes and the end of affirmative action. Tim Sites —- — you think that it is necessary to wage war with "axis of evil" Iraq, a nation that has declared it has no weapons of mass destruction, but, on the other hand, insist on negotiation and diplomacy with "axis of evil" North Korea because they have openly declared they have weapons of mass destruction and WILL use them, if necessary. -anonymous —- …you believe that the coal, oil, and nuclear industries will police themselves if the Clean Air and Clean Water Acts are weakened. Gary McCoy —- …you think blacks have the same "voice" as whites do! —- …. your heart bleeds oil. Kahlil at http://reachm.crimsonblog.com/ —- …you think Government (regulation) is bad and Corporate greed is good. (unless it is time to bail out the corporate misfits, ie. Savings & loans, Airline Industry, Energy industry, Auto Makers etc etc.) —- Below are submissions after our contest ended: Add your own at the bottom of the page. —- …you believe God Guns and Guts is either moral, logical or literate. -anonymous —- ……you use Jesus and guns in the same sentence. —- …your solution for everything are tax cuts – aaron —- …you think the fact that under Dubya’s rule we now have fewer jobs, a shaky economy, and a multi-billion-dollar deficit–rather than the expanding economy, low unemployment and multi-billion-dollar surplus we had when Clinton left office–is still somehow Clinton’s fault. —- …you think other people should have fewer children but you won’t allow sex education in schools because those horny teenagers might get ideas. by Syd —- …you really think creationism is a science, Darwin was the devil, and all those million-year-old fossils were put into the geologic substrate by a God with a warped sense of humor strictly to pinpoint the godless and make them easier to send to hell. by Syd —- …you’d rather build prisons than schools. by Syd —- …you think for a second your money makes you a better person. —- …you own a chocolate company that has "temp" workers that have been there for 10 years with no benefits or paid time off. —- …you write a book called "the book of virtues" and then blow $8M in gambling over the course of 10+ years —- …that sleeping with your first cousin is alright but god forbid two people of the same gender try and build a life together. —- …if you think Choice Point should come and re-invent the voting process in your state, too. —- …if for a second you think we "won" in iraq when all we really won was the ire of the iraqi people and the european union voting to slap sky-high tariffs on all american imports in retaliation for our "just war of liberation." —- …you think "children are our most precious gift" and then think it’s ok to bomb the sh*t out of a country where 50% of the population is under the age of 15 —- …you think that having a few thousand dollars in an employer sponsored 401(k) makes you part of the "investor class" —- …you scream at women that life is sacred and abortion is not a choice but never have gone and adopted at least a 6-pack of the "special needs" and unwanted children yourself —- …you can’t wait for President Jeb Bush in 2008. —- …you’ve never looked up the definition of ‘liberal’, but you know it’s gotta have something to do with commies.. —- …you call yourself "pro-life" when all you really care about is the birth. Then the poor schlub is on his/her own ’cause "I’ve given you the chance." John P. —- …you are convinced that quiche is part of a French conspiracy to deplete good red-blooded Americans of their ‘precious bodily fluids’. Eric M —- …the fact that your parents only owned one house and one car, in your mind, qualifies you as an expert on … read more »
Response:
To be a liberal, you have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding. To be a liberal, you have to be against capital punishment but for abortion on demand-in short, you support protecting the guilty and killing the innocent. To be a liberal, you have to believe that the same . . . public school [teacher] who can’t teach 4th graders how to read is qualified to teach those same kids about sex. To be a liberal, you have to believe that trial lawyers are selfless heroes and doctors are overpaid. To be a liberal, you have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of the Red Chinese. To be a liberal, you have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the brilliance of the Sun, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs. To be a liberal, you have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being gay is natural. To be a liberal, you have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity. To be a liberal, you have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it. To be a liberal, you have to believe there was no art before federal funding. To be a liberal, you have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars. To be a liberal, you have to believe the NRA is bad, because they stand up for certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because they stand up for certain parts of the Constitution. To be a liberal, you have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren’t. To be a liberal, you have to believe conservatives are racists but that black people couldn’t make it without your help. –Trey Garrison Excerpts from "A Philosophy for Liars and Lawyers"
Response:
CPAviator, you are a GOD. Nice work. TamPax will go into a shit-fit after he reads this. Phil Farano Ampmedic
To be a liberal, you have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of funding. To be a liberal, you have to be against capital punishment but for abortion on demand-in short, you support protecting the guilty and killing the innocent. To be a liberal, you have to believe that the same . . . public school [teacher] who can’t teach 4th graders how to read is qualified to teach those same kids about sex. To be a liberal, you have to believe that trial lawyers are selfless heroes and doctors are overpaid. To be a liberal, you have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of the Red Chinese. To be a liberal, you have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the brilliance of the Sun, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs. To be a liberal, you have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being gay is natural. To be a liberal, you have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity. To be a liberal, you have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it. To be a liberal, you have to believe there was no art before federal funding. To be a liberal, you have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars. To be a liberal, you have to believe the NRA is bad, because they stand up for certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because they stand up for certain parts of the Constitution. To be a liberal, you have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren’t. To be a liberal, you have to believe conservatives are racists but that black people couldn’t make it without your help. –Trey Garrison Excerpts from "A Philosophy for Liars and Lawyers"
Response:
> CPAviator, you are a GOD. > Nice work. > TamPax will go into a shit-fit after he reads this. > Phil Farano > Ampmedic
You really think so, Phil? Read again: PREREQUISITES TO BEING A NEOFASCIST REBUBLIKLAN MORON: 1)You should already know the AIDS virus was initiated by the CIA to depopulate social undesirables – gays and junkies. 2)You have to have homicidal tendencies for revenge to be all for capital punishment and for warmongering even if civilian pregnant mothers are killed in battle, but you also have to have a hypocritical concern for unborn humans to ease your conscience about it along with a good euphemism to explain it all away. 3)You have to believe that public school teachers can’t teach 4th graders how to read and there should be no mention of any kind of education about sex so n
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